Caregiver Well-Being: Four Steps to Create Sustainable Practices
by Dan Koltz
is the MSU Extension Gerontology Specialist.
According to the Montana Department of Public Health and Human Services, Montana has over 110,000 unpaid family caregivers. Caregiving for family members encompasses taking care of a spouse/person suffering from a chronic condition or cognitive decline, or who needs help cutting the grass or running to appointments, or special care for all family, including children.
Often, caregivers spend the majority of their time caring for others and are left with little time to focus on their physical, emotional, and social health. While not all caregivers are full-time, most struggle to find time for self-care, either because it never was a part of their normal routine or because caregiving makes it especially difficult to prioritize oneself.
If you are a caregiver, finding five minutes for self-care (caring for yourself) will help improve overall health, including physical, emotional, and social aspects. If you are healthy, your caregiving approach to a care recipient will improve – you will see that you can become a better caregiver.
STOP: Admit that you are tired or exhausted and must take time. Stop and think, “when was the last time I did something for myself?” It is okay to care for yourself too. The list of things to do will always be there.
ALLOCATE: Allocate or set aside the time you need for yourself. It can be as little as five minutes or for multiple hours if you have someone to give you a break. (See resources from MT Lifespan Respite to help cover care costs.)
PLAN: If you do not plan a self-care activity or write down ‘time for self’ on a list of things to do, it will never become a priority. Plan a specific activity you enjoy doing. Take the time for a break, even if it is for five minutes in your home.
ACHIEVE: Do it. Take the time to participate in an activity that provides you a break, a time to refresh, a time to renew yourself, and a time to relax.
FIVE MINUTE IDEAS: (Think about doing one of these daily.)
Take a walk to think about what you see, hear, and smell. Reflect on positive thoughts about happy memories, experiences, or a recent positive experience. Breathe in and out and enjoy how the outdoors helps you relax.
Enjoy a glass of water, sit in a comfortable chair, and enjoy the sun on your face. Take deep breaths, inhale and exhale deeply, concentrating on your breath, slowly sipping water and taking in the sun. Focus on you. Think about how good it feels to breathe and relax. We often don’t realize that we hold our breath. Deep breathing allows the lungs to fill with oxygen, relieving stress and anxiety.
Take a bath with pleasant-smelling scents or wash your hands with a fruited-smelling sugar scrub. Touch the textures and feel the oils as they help refresh and relax you. Be sure to focus on good feelings, the smells, and/or that the feel of the scrub represents taking a moment to regroup and feel good, washing away and starting anew.
Read a passage from your favorite book or write in a journal. For some people, it is reading a spiritual passage; for others, it may be poetry. Dive deep into the meaning and think about how the words can be a comfort (perhaps they provide a deep connection for healing, spirituality, or a greater depth of understanding). Writing in a journal should focus on positive thoughts and experiences. Meditate on a reading or journal writing and take a moment once again to breathe.
MULTIPLE-HOUR IDEAS:
Take a long walk or get an ice cream cone (or tea/coffee). Enjoy focusing your time on something else. Invite someone you have not spent time with for a while. Engage in social time with others, as many caregivers neglect their social relationships.
Have someone care for you, get your hair done/cut, or have a prepared meal at a restaurant. Get a massage and enjoy someone taking care of you.
Go to a movie, show, music venue, or place of entertainment. You decide what is best for you.
Remember, the focus of these activities is to help you relax, breathe, and enjoy an aspect of your life for your self-care. Feeling good about yourself makes you a better caregiver, and your care partner(s) will receive the best of you.
To help caregivers with their self-care, MSU Extension recently launched The Montana Caregiver Respite Retreat Program, designed to support learning sustainable self-care practices for caregivers. Since 2022, it has been utilized in rural communities as a means for caregivers to get some respite from caregiving duties.
Visit the websiteto explore healthy aging resources and select “Healthy Caregiving” to find a retreat coming to a nearby rural community.